Sorry, Miami Beach is closed this weekend. Please go elsewhere

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Sometimes you have to wonder if Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine is secretly planning to close down Miami Beach by 11 p.m. and have all residents in bed by midnight.

The other day he managed to get Miami Beach commissioners to vote unanimously to drive a stake through the heart of Miami Beach's tourist economy to cut off outdoor alcohol sales on Ocean Drive at 2 a.m.

And now here's an email (embedded below) that Levine sent out today regarding the city's Memorial Day Weekend preps.

In the email, Levine says "for more information on the city's detailed Memorial Day Weekend plans, please visit www.respectthescene.com"

Well, I wanted more info, so I headed on over to respectthescene.com.

Here's what I saw:

But when I texted 61721, this is what I got back:

But here at Random Pixels, we don't give up so easily.

So I decided to try a few of the "important numbers" listed at respectthescene.com.

Hmmm, let's try the Miami Beach Tourism Hotline, 305-673-7400.

I did, and this is what I got:

OK, dead end there.

Let's try the number for Miami Beach Information, 305-604-2489.

Ring, ring: "Thank you for calling the City of Miami Beach...for questions regarding noise complaints, water leaks, building permits, garbage pick-ups....blah, blah, blah."

Yeah, that's the kind of info someone here for Memorial Day Weekend needs.

Way to go, Phil!

By the way, Mayor Levine does suggest you kick off the holiday weekend by stopping by the Visitors Meet and Greet Center on the MacArthur Causeway - eastbound across from Jungle Island - Friday night starting at 7 p.m.

For your convenience, the center will be staffed by some of Miami Beach's finest who will be more than happy to help you finalize your holiday weekend plans. Have three or four drinks before you arrive.

But be sure you leave your styrofoam containers at home.

Philip Levine              MAYOR                     OFFICE OF THE MIAMI BEACH MAYOR Dear Friends and Neighbors,    As we prepare to celebrate Memorial Day Weekend, I assure you the City of Miami Beach is working diligently and taking all the necessary precautions to make sure that our visitors and residents have a safe and enjoyable holiday.    The City of Miami Beach Police, Fire, and Emergency Management Departments have planned and staffed according to the needs of our residents and visitors.         Here are a few things to keep in mind from Friday, May 22nd through Monday, May 25th, 2015:  Traffic Plan and vehicular road Closure to Ocean Drive will begin at 7 am on Friday, May 22nd and Ocean Drive will remain closed through Tuesday, May 26th at 7 am You will notice a visible law enforcement presence during the weekend A traffic loop has been created to curb "cruising" Changed traffic patterns on Collins and Washington Avenues. Expect traffic delays Friday night DUI checkpoint on eastbound MacArthur Causeway. Police will be using License Plate Readers on the causeways to help with stolen cars and other law violations The Venetian Causeway will only be open to residents. You may be asked to show ID's.  For more information on the city's detailed Memorial Day Weekend plans, please visitwww.respectthescene.com     Lastly, I personally want to thank all our service men and women and their families who have sacrificed so much for our freedom. I wish everyone a fun and memorable Memorial Day Weekend. Sincerely, Philip Levine Mayor of Miami Beach