The way we were

One day in Dec. 1956, half the inmates at the Coral Gables jail escaped!

from the Miami Daily News, Dec. 5, 1956

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It's time to fire Anders Gyllenhaal!

It's time to fire Anders Gyllenhaal.

Gyllenhaal has been the Miami Herald's executive editor since 2007.

Under Gyllenhaal's leadership, the most recent figures show that over the past six months the paper's daily circulation is down 16% and Sunday circulation has fallen 13%.

The Herald's Sunday circulation, which used to be the largest in the state, has fallen to 5th behind the St. Petersburg Times, South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Orlando Sentinel and horror of horrors, the Tampa Tribune!

And under Gyllenhaal's guidance, the paper has so drastically decimated its local reporting staff, that it now has to rely on local bloggers to bolster its online community news coverage.

Gyllenhaal, it seems, will try anything to revive the paper's declining circulation.

So desperate that he'll print anything. It's my firm belief that if he thought that printing fart jokes on the op-ed page would increase circulation, he'd start tomorrow.

But on Saturday he did something equally ludicrous.

The Herald printed the first of three excerpts from former "humor columnist" Dave Barry's new book, "I'll Mature When I'm Dead."

It's a safe bet that Gyllenhaal, as the executive editor, approved of the placement of Barry's piece on the front page of the paper.

But I'm wondering if he, or anyone else at the paper, actually read the excerpt before it was published. It wasn't funny.

In the piece, Barry regurgitates a favorite and tired theme of his: "Tourists, be careful when you come to Miami because you might get shot." Hahaha! Judging from what I read Saturday, Barry's book promises to be a real knee slapper.

Barry uses moldy old news stories from the bad old 80's and 90's to prove that Miami can be dangerous. Sure, he's writing humor. But in order for humor to succeed it has to draw on reality. He fails by using 20 year-old news stories that have no connection contemporary Miami.

That comes as no surprise to some who discovered a long time ago that Barry really isn't very funny.

He's a guy who has trouble recognizing real humor.

Granted, Barry has a lot of fans.

According to his web site, he's written 30 books.

So somebody must be reading his crap, and in the process, making him very wealthy.

But as H.L. Mencken once said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."

And consider these lines from his web site...which I assume were written by Barry:

In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.

Dave has also written a total of 30 books, although virtually none of them contain useful information.

Dave lives in Miami, Florida. [...]

He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Note to Anders: Sounds to me like Sophie and Rob have a firm grasp on reality.

Perhaps you should have talked to one of them before greenlighting the publication of their dad's front page piece.

Power to the pooches!

photo by Marko Djurica/Reuters

Back in the late sixties when I lived in New York City, there seemed to be a street demonstration every weekend against whatever the outrage du jour was.

But since it was the late sixties; more often than not the protests were against the Vietnam war; or maybe for equal rights for women.

I saw a lot of strange things at some of those protests but I'm pretty sure those sixties protesters never had a mascot.

But that was then and this is now.

If you've watched any amount of cable news in the past few days you've probably seen some of the protests in Greece.

I was watching the other day when all of the financial news channels were carrying live pictures of the protests in Athens, while simultaneously here in the U.S., the stock market seemed on the verge of a collapse.

But as I watched the stock market implode-albeit briefly-something in the live video from Greece caught my eye.

Every so often the cameras would show a dog running across a thoroughfare, oblivious to the fires, tear gas, rocks and bottles and the Greek police beating the crap out of whatever protester happened to be unlucky enough to get caught.

But, as it turns out, this wasn't just any dog.

Enter Louk, the Riot Dog.

Louk, it seems, has been attending and participating in Greek riots since 2008.

And because this is 2010, anyone or anything who happens to be on TV for more than 10 seconds is an instant celebrity. So it follows that Louk now has a following.

But unlike the cast of the "Jersey Shore," Louk actually has character and more importantly, a discernible personality.

He's even got a Facebook fan page, which lists his favorite activities as attending riots and barking at police.

A recent wall post says this about Louk:

"[he's] a mystery wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a blue collar indicating he has his shots. What brings him to the riots? Does he believe in the overthrow of private ownership? Does he see the rioters as his pack? Does he just hope that the police are going to start throwing those big sticks for him to fetch."

Louk is also on Youtube

And there's a slide show at Newsweek.com with pics of Louk and other assorted Greek canine anarchists.

thanks to Tamara for the heads up!

The way we were

An ad for Royal Castle from the Miami Daily News, Dec. 3, 1956

Not much to say except that you have to be really old to remember 15 cent hamburgers at Royal Castle!

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Coming Monday...

A heads up to those of you who visit this blog regularly ...

I've written a story that will be posted Monday on MiamiBeach411.com

I don't want to give too much away but the story takes place in a very different Miami in August 1956.

Some of the things included in the story are a suicide in a downtown Miami hotel that inspired a hit song, a 1956 Lincoln covered with notes written in lipstick, another suicide - this one of a reporter in Washington, a Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist who got his start as a photographer, and a former United States senator.

Look for the story Monday at MiamiBeach411.com.

The way we were

Miami News columnist Bill Baggs, in a July 13, 1955 column, recounts a day 30 years earlier when one Miami police officer took a zero-tolerance stance against jaywalkers!

thanks to Larry H. for the tip!


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