Glenn Garvin reviews Bravo's "Miami Social"

Katrina Campins

Listen as the Miami Herald's TV critic Glenn Garvin rips Bravo's new reality show, "Miami Social"

"Sifting through all the imbecilic, self-obsessed trash littering Ocean Drive to come up with the seven most pathetically vacuous, narcissistic excuses for human beings on all of South Beach was truly a Herculean task.

"The show's casting director should be given some kind of award, then parachuted onto a lost desert island where he can never threaten us again.

"I'm saying [Miami Social is] so bad it will make you regret being born with eyes. I'm saying it's so bad that if you saw a member of the cast burst into flame on the street, you wouldn't waste your spit putting him or her out. I'm saying Osama bin Laden, if he sees it, will weep bitter tears of frustration that he went after the wrong American city.

"A stupefying concoction of idiotic hubris, faux glamour and neurotic self-absorption, Miami Social purports to follow ''a close circle of seven friends who make this city spin,'' including such civic heavyweights as a freelance editor, a freelance photographer, a South Beach party-planner and a real-estate agent [Katrina Campins] who doesn't know how to figure square-footage costs. (At last! An explanation for the collapse of the South Florida housing market!)"

Note to Anders Gyllenhaal: If everyone just half the people at the Herald wrote with this much passion, I'd start subscribing again!