Ken Rosenthal of FoxSports.com asks his boss for a transfer to Miami:
To: Rick Jaffe, Senior VP, FOXSports.comAnd Tony DiStefano at "That Ball's Outta Here" says the Marlins have become the craziest team in baseball:
Subject: Request for reassignment
Much as I enjoy covering all 30 teams as the senior baseball writer for FOXSports.com, the time has come for a change.
I am writing to ask that you allow me to cover the Miami Marlins full time next season.
For the good of the company, of course.
Trust me, Rick, this has nothing to do with any desire of mine to live in Miami, party on South Beach and work at a new ballpark — I’m not that selfish.
You know me, Rick, it’s all about the story. And the Fish are about to make the old Bronx Zoo look like a petting zoo, turn Little Havana into their very own baseball asylum.
It all hit me Wednesday when the Marlins reached an agreement to send righty Chris Volstad to the Cubs for right-hander Carlos Zambrano and a psychiatrist to be named later.
Actually, one shrink won’t be nearly enough.
The Miami Marlins have terrible uniforms, a bat shit crazy manager, shark tanks on either side of home plate, they are moving their pain in the ass shortstop to third to make way for another pain in the ass shortstop and have made themselves an absolute spectacle by acquiring Carlos Zambrano. They have officially become a car accident. The most interesting thing about this move is that it makes having shark tanks on the field seem rational.
H/T to Alfred Spellman who says the Marlins are now officially a "tabloid team."