|Actual un-retouched photo of the |
Surfside Police Department in action.
The Surfside Police Department's website says, "Our employees are extremely proud of our tradition and are committed to public service and to ensuring the safety of our residents and visitors. We are dedicated to provide quality police service to our residents, businesses and tourists."
Of course, saying you're dedicated to providing "quality police service" and actually providing "quality police service" are two different things.
Driving north on Collins Ave., it's possible to pass through tiny Surfside (population less than 5,000) in about two minutes.
In 2010, Miami New Times described Surfside as "one of those three-block hamlets that subsists entirely on the hundred-dollar fines slapped on drivers unlucky enough to crawl through a hair over the limit."
So, what else do Surfside cops do when they're not stopping drivers for going three miles per hour over the limit?
In Oct., 2010, a Surfside cop named Maximo Moreno was busted after investigators learned that he was scamming drivers he'd stopped for various infractions "by demanding bribes in exchange for not towing their rides to an impound lot."
Moreno's partner in crime was his brother, a driver for Miami Beach's notorious Tremont Towing.
Moreno ... offered the drivers two choices: Either spend the night in jail and have your car impounded, or pay his brother -- Allan Moreno, who drove a Tremont truck -- a few hundred bucks to tow you out of Surfside.Moreno wasn't the first Surfside cop to go bad. In February of the same year, "the department fired a 46-year-old cop named Woodward Brooks for faking accident reports to steal insurance payouts."
The brothers then split the cash, prosecutors say.
After those embarrassments, you're probably thinking that Surfside's top cop, David Allen, got the message and whipped his troops into shape, inspiring them to go out and aggressively fight crime in the tiny hamlet.
But you'd be wrong.
Despite Surfside's tiny size, it appears that Allen and his department have a hard time actually catching any real criminals in the act.
Surfside PD's motto could be: "We're very good at stopping speeders, not so good at stopping crime."
WSVN reports that over the weekend thieves burgled The Monaco Collection, "a business located at 9433 Harding Ave. in Surfside, [that] sells high-end purses and watches."
Police said the thieves were in the store for about a minute in a half but were still able to fill box after box with thousands of dollars worth of luxury goods.The kicker? It's the second time thieves have hit the ritzy boutique.
So, Chief Allen...Congratulations on being in charge of South Florida's Most Incompetent Police Department.
There were a lot of police departments in the running for this award, but you and your guys beat the competition by a mile!