In case you've forgotten...

Carlos Alvarez artwork courtesy of rakontur.

Okay, I'll admit it...I watched the Opening Night ceremonies at the new Miami Marlins ballpark....a place that seems to combine elements of Disney World, a South Beach tourist trap and a Las Vegas casino all rolled into one, big marvelously tacky package.

My favorite moment of the evening occurred sometime during the third or fourth inning when the fire alarms went off and it seemed as though my wildest dreams were about to be realized: The place was actually going to burn to the ground on Opening Night. That never happened, of course.

Least favorite moment: "The sad, shameless sight of Loria trotting out [Muhammad] Ali's disease-ravaged body for a forced on-field ceremony."

TV showed lots of ecstatic fans spouting effusive praise for the new stadium; all of them eager to get inside and guzzle $9 beers and munch on $6 hot dogs. And all of them apparently suffering from amnesia or simply choosing to ignore the fact that as taxpayers, they'll be paying for this white elephant for years to come.

As I watched, I wondered how many of them will still be making the trek to Little Havana in July and August when the Marlins are in last place. I think we all know the answer to that.

There were no soundbites with pissed-off Little Havana residents who live nearby and who will be saddled with and inconvenienced by this monstrosity for as long as they choose to remain in the neighborhood.

But, here's a little video for those of you who are still feeling all warm and fuzzy after last night's festivities and have apparently forgotten how the stadium got built.



More reading: Securities And Exchange Commission Investigating Marlins’ Stadium Deal Because Of Fishy Accounting.

Miami Beach police lieutenant to be demoted

Miami Beach Police Chief Ray Martinez will recommend the demotion of one of his police lieutenants Random Pixels has learned.

Martinez plans to recommend that Miami Beach police Lieutenant Paul Acosta be demoted to the rank of sergeant.

The action comes just days after Martinez suspended two other police officers with pay following separate allegations of misconduct.

A police spokesperson told me today that Martinez is recommending Acosta's demotion for "misuse of time not related to the July 3rd [2011] incident."

Following last year's July 3rd police ATV crash that left two beach goers seriously hurt, investigators learned that some police supervisors were showing up for work late or leaving early.

In the case of Acosta - who was not on duty the night of the crash - investigators found that on two occasions, June 7 and June 21, Acosta was checked in a by another police lieutenant "for a total of 20 regular hours that Acosta later told investigators he didn’t work," the Miami Herald reported last October.

So far, two police officers and a police sergeant have been fired in the wake of the July 3rd ATV crash.

Another lieutenant - Jerome Berrian - was demoted to sergeant police officer last July "and required to reimburse the city $2,600 for claiming compensation for time he did not work," according to the Herald.

David Samson's advice to Little Havana residents: 'Walk more, complain less'

Click image to enlarge.

News item:

(CBSMiami) – It’s truly a new era for the Miami Marlins as the team has agreed to pay $40,000 to convert four municipal lots into parking for residents living around the stadium.
[...]
“We appreciate having this ballpark in Little Havana, we’re proud to be in Little Havana,” said team president David Samson. “It’s all about being a great neighbor and taking care of the people we live with every day now.”

When a reporter pointed out that some residents will have to walk a distance from the parking lots to their homes, Samson replied, “I would assume you’d have to walk a few blocks, but that would be good. It’s nice to walk in Miami.”

Yes, David Samson actually said that.

Here's another headline we'll probably be reading in a few months: "Team president David Samson says Miami Marlins will buy umbrellas for Little Havana residents to help them get through the rainy season."

Stuff we like

Camera crew looking for close-up shots of orca whales for the Discovery Channel's 'Frozen Planet' series gets more than they bargained for.

Memorial Day Weekend 2012 on Miami Beach...y'all ready for this?

Photograph by Carlos Miller.

UPDATED on May 25, 2012 with important info on South Beach traffic problems. CLICK HERE to read!

Shortly after Ray Martinez was sworn-in as Miami Beach's new police chief almost two weeks ago, he dropped a tantalizing hint on how he planned to deal with the upcoming Memorial Day Weekend festivities. Martinez told WSVN, "We will be enforcing our minor ordinances and minor laws that are on the books which we have been doing since New Year's Eve."

That ain't the half of it.

Tim Elfrink at Miami New Times has gotten his hands "on the Beach's tentative plans for preventing this year's festivities from devolving into the police-shooting scene that made SoBe a national embarrassment last year."

Or to put it another way, if Chief Martinez and Miami Beach City Manager Jorge Gonzalez get their way, this year's Memorial Day Weekend festivities on the beach won't be very "festive."



At the heart of the 20-page plan are: street closures up the ying-yang, strict enforcement of open container laws, zero-tolerance for illegal parking, nightly DUI and "safety" checkpoints near Watson Island on the MacArthur Causeway, possible closure of the MacArthur if traffic becomes unmanageable, "enhanced enforcement of obstruction of traffic" and a "traffic/cruising loop" that's been cleverly devised to "route [non-resident] traffic through and out of the city." (See attachment D.)

Click to enlarge.

My prediction: 2012's Memorial Day arrest figures will surpass those of previous years.

Another prediction: "Nightmare" doesn't even begin to describe what traffic on South Beach will be like during the 3 to 4-day weekend.

My advice: Stay home and watch the entire thing on TV.

Marty Merzer on writing: 'This is the way it is done'

When former Miami Herald staffer Marty Merzer posts a link to a newspaper story on his Facebook page, I stop what I'm doing and take notes.

Saturday, he wrote this about Fred Grimm's Sunday column in the Miami Herald:

"Newspaper editors, writers: This is the way it is done, when you have a seasoned, smart, experienced professional covering a story. You want to save your newspapers and your careers? Read this story slowly. Note the nuance, the sense of place, the care, the striving for fairness, the respect for everyone involved, especially readers."

Grimm's column:

How a small town mismanaged a crisis
by FRED GRIMM

SANFORD - Hundreds of protesters marched here on Saturday, waving signs, shouting epithets, making demands, threatening the city with economic ruin. As they heaped ever more derision on Sanford, locals sank deeper into a bewildered despair, wondering how their picturesque town had been transformed these last few weeks into an icon of racism.

Somehow, in the national imagination, Sanford, 2012, mutated into Selma, 1965.

“It’s surreal,” said Sheri Blanche, standing in her little café/art gallery in downtown Sanford. “I don’t know how this happened. We’re a progressive city. We’re a city of artists and writers.”
[...]
Sanford, an old inland port on a wide bulge in the St. John’s River called Lake Martin, seems much too cute for its unseemly new image, with its downtown streets paved in bricks, with sidewalk cafes and art galleries and antique shops and wine bars and live music spilling out of the bars into the night, with a marina and a nicely designed 1.2 mile pedestrian concourse along the city’s waterfront.

“This is no redneck place like they’re making out in the media,” said Melanie Green, browsing amid hand-painted ceramics and stained glass at a downtown art shop. “I know,” she added with a sly smile. “I drove down here from Deland to get away from rednecks.”

Click here to read Grimm's complete column.