Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Winners and Losers

By the time you read this, the smoke will have cleared and the dust settled.

In my half-century in Miami, I have never seen anything like what happened Tuesday night.

Perhaps Channels 10's veteran political reporter, Michael Putney put it best:
"I have never seen a vote this lopsided in any election. This was not a landslide. It was a massacre."
So let's look at all the winners and losers.

WINNERS: Miami-Dade voters who sent a clear and resounding message by a margin of 9 to 1 to the remaining politicians at County Hall: Cut the crap and start representing us!

WINNERS: Miami Herald reporters Matt Haggman and Martha Brannigan. Haggman and Brannigan, along with former Herald reporter Jack Dolan have done some of the best only investigative reporting in town on Alvarez and his shady doings at County Hall.

LOSER: Former Miami-Dade commissioner Natacha Seijas. With over 18 years on the commission, this ill-mannered and vile excuse for a human being is a poster child for term limits. 'Nuff said.

LOSER: Former Miami-Dade mayor Carlos Alvarez. Elected six and half years ago, this former cop looked like a knight in shining armor who was going to gallop in on his white steed like the Lone Ranger and clean up county government. Fat chance!

He turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Staffing county hall with cronies and paying them astronomical salaries like there was no tomorrow.

Imperious and arrogant, he did everything except erect a guillotine in the plaza in front of County Hall and conduct lunch-time beheadings.

LOSER: Miami Herald editorial board. The would-be opinion shapers at the Miami Herald proved just how out of touch they are with the readers they purport to serve when they came up with this recommendation in today's paper:

But Tuesday's biggest loser? The envelope please....

BIGGEST LOSER: Victoria L. Mallette, Director of Communications for Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Alvarez.

Mallette makes $136,019 a year. Her boss, the mayor, gave Mallette a 54% pay increase a while back after telling taxpayers that everyone must make sacrifices.

According to her bio on the county's website, "Mallette along with her staff, coordinate and advance the Mayor's public appearances; liaison with local, national and international media to focus attention on the Mayor's agenda and accomplishments; and develop public relations strategies to advance the Mayor's programs and initiatives.

"Mallette serves as the Mayor's chief spokesperson and is a key advisor to the Mayor on complex, sensitive or controversial matters of public information and media relations.

"Mallette is also the Mayor's primary speechwriter, which includes the writing and editing of the Mayor's annual State of the County Address. She reviews and approves correspondence emanating from the Mayor's Office, including media advisories, press releases, constituent letters, monthly newsletters, columns and related informational materials; prepares and organizes media events, including media availabilities, press conferences, and town meetings; and is responsible for the content and accuracy of the Mayor's website."

With all that, when pollsters recently asked Miami-Dade registered voters to name her boss's biggest accomplishment, (see Mallette's job description above) "80% said there were none or couldn't think of any."

Great job Vicki! What exactly do you do to earn that fancy salary? And how many more like you are there at County Hall?

Don't say anything, I think I already know the answer!

So, Victoria L. Mallette, you are Random Pixels' Biggest Loser! Congratulations!


  1. Excellent post! Right on target!

  2. This is hilarious.

  3. This is the best! Thanks for the memories. Who will hire her now...McDonald's?


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