Thursday, December 29, 2016

Jerry Iannelli of Miami New Times has figured out why so much bizarre behavior originates in Florida

Jerry Iannelli of Miami New Times is the paper's "daily news reporter."

According to his bio he moved to South Florida in 2015.

But in that short time, he's managed to solve a mystery that has bewildered Sunshine State journalists for decades: Why does so much bizarre behavior seem to originate in Florida?

When two South Florida-related post-Christmas fight videos popped up on the Internet today, Iannelli immediately knew who to blame: "Harry the meth snake."
Most people don't know this, but Florida has its very own version of Santa. Some know him only by the choking, smog-like mist that shrouds him whenever he appears or by the warm scent of stale Coors Light that wafts through the air when he's especially close. Those who have seen the deity's physical form typically refer to him by one name: Harry the Meth Snake.

Unlike Santa, Harry the Meth Snake, who is made equally of meth and snake, works year-round. He does not deal in physical gifts — instead, Harry the Meth Snake flies from town to town, pumping Floridians full of coke, alcohol, and amphetamines and goading them into doing dumb shit in front of video cameras.

Harry does put in a bit of extra oomph around the holidays, perhaps in a goodnatured competition with Santa Claus. Take, for instance, this year: The Florida gift-giving gods have bestowed upon us not one, but two delicious Miami fistfight videos in a single December day.

It's almost impossible to decide which of these clips better represents the state of Florida.

The first, posted yesterday evening, depicts an employee at a Steve Madden store at Sawgrass Mills walloping a Swiss tourist who demanded to enter a closed store and then dumped a bottle of water on her. The Swiss woman, who quite clearly instigated the fight, then shouts, "I am going to sue youuu!" in an accent so comedically French she could pose as Inspector Clouseau's aunt in a Pink Panther reboot.

Great work, Jerry. Your parents must be very proud.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

George Michael filmed the 'Careless Whisper' video in Miami in 1984

George Michael who died Christmas day, filmed parts of his "Careless Whisper" video in Miami in 1984 when he was just 21. 

He can be seen in the video below (at the 4:34 mark) walking along a balcony at the top floor of the Grove Towers in Coconut Grove.

h/t Brian Tannebaum

Thursday, December 22, 2016

When Philip Levine ran for mayor of Miami Beach in 2013 he promised to get the city's finances under control....

"As Mayor of Miami Beach Philip Levine will, fix flooding, get the city's finances
under control [and] end corruption." [via Youtube] how's that working out, Mr. Mayor?


Headline: Someone Stole $3.6 Million From Miami Beach's Bank Accounts
Someone was able to rig that account, Morales says, to set up automatic payments to a variety of other accounts at other banks. He describes the city as being a victim of "bank fraud" in the scheme and says SunTrust has already requested the funds back from the other banks.



"What if Miami Beach’s city commission worried more about the public till and less about Ocean Drive partiers?" - Politico's Marc Caputo

Monday, December 19, 2016

Holiday artichoke dip goes terribly wrong on-air

What's left to say when someone on the morning news crew whips up an artichoke dip that causes a burning sensation?

How about, "let's go to a commercial?"

leslie horton artichoke dip global news canada

Saturday, December 17, 2016

In Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine's world, everything is 'AMAZING!'

If Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine is depressed about Hillary Clinton - who he campaigned for non-stop - losing the election to a spray-tanned, failed mail-order steak salesman, he certainly isn't letting it show it on Facebook or Twitter.

Because in Phil Levine's world, the glass is always half full, the skies are always sunny, and on his Facebook page everything is AMAZING! And Levine apparently - unlike Donald Trump who knows the best words - knows just one word: "amazing."

This probably means that the mayor didn't get the memo that a 2012 survey recommended the word "amazing" be banished from the English language due to its overuse.

(It should also come as no surprise that "incredible" is another one of Levine's favorite social media adjectives.)

Here are a few recent posts on Levine's Facebook page where he demonstrates that he knows how to turn a frown upside-down.

And a check of of Levine's Twitter feed finds that everything is also AMAZING!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Trump 'doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and he’s uninterested in finding out.'

Donald Trump is epically unprepared to be president. He has no realistic policies, no advisers, no capacity to learn. His vast narcissism makes him a closed fortress. He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and he’s uninterested in finding out. -David Brooks, New York Times, March 18, 2016

I recalled the paragraph above from David Brooks' March 2016 column as the news filtered out today that Donald Trump told an interviewer that he doesn't need a daily intelligence briefing when he becomes president because, you know, he's smart, really smart.

Donald Trump Ties C.I.A. Reports on Russian Meddling to Democrats’ Shame
He also indicated that as president, he would not take the daily intelligence briefing that President Obama and his predecessors have received. Mr. Trump, who has received the briefing sparingly as president-elect, said that it was often repetitive and that he would take it “when I need it.” He said his vice president, Mike Pence, would receive the daily briefing.

“You know, I’m, like, a smart person,” he said. “I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day for the next eight years.”

He added that he had instructed the officials who give the briefing: “‘If something should change from this point, immediately call me. I’m available on a one-minute’s notice.’”



But that's not to say that he won't be briefed in some fashion once he takes office. A Washington Post story from last July revealed that his secretary brings him a pile of printouts every morning that contain news articles about The Donald.

Donald Trump doesn’t read much. Being president probably wouldn’t change that.
He has no time to read, he said: “I never have. I’m always busy doing a lot. Now I’m more busy, I guess, than ever before.”

Trump’s desk is piled high with magazines, nearly all of them with himself on their covers, (see video above) and each morning, he reviews a pile of printouts of news articles about himself that his secretary delivers to his desk. But there are no shelves of books in his office, no computer on his desk.


Monday, December 05, 2016

This is what real journalism looks like


Local TV stations spend millions of dollars a year to bring you the news. Or what they like to call "the news." But in fact, the stuff they produce bears almost no resemblance to actual journalism.

A better name for what appears on local TV news these days would be "crime scene porn." 

This may be considered "news" by some, but it's not "journalism."
(Click image to enlarge)

Those same stations also spend tens of thousands of dollars a month putting helicopters in the air that beam back live pictures of a car chase or a bunch of police cars at a crime scene, red and blue lights flashing.

But there's very little information contained in a shot of a crime scene taken from a camera a thousand feet in the air that helps a viewer better understand the story. 

But while most local TV news consists of non-stop coverage of shootings, car crashes and stories showing surveillance videos of convenience store robberies, and more shootings, it's reassuring to know that there are still places you can find real old-fashioned journalism...stories that actually impact your life. 

Want proof?

 Look no further than Sunday morning's South Florida Sun-Sentinel and Miami Herald for just two stories that didn't require the use of a helicopter. 

South Florida Sun-Sentinel, Dec. 4, 2016.
Click image to enlarge.
Inmates died, but jail logs showed them safe in their cells
By Stephen Hobbs

If Broward Sheriff's Office records are to be believed, a mentally ill jail inmate was alive in his cell 18 hours after he died and another received dinner six hours after he hanged himself.

Documents obtained by the Sun Sentinel raise questions about the accuracy of Sheriff's Office records and how closely some mentally ill inmates were monitored before they died.

Inmate Raleigh Priester died soon after collapsing in his cell about 12:45 p.m. on July 10, 2012. Though he was rushed to the hospital, deputies continued to document, about every 30 minutes and until 8 a.m. the following morning, that he was alive and inside his cell at the North Broward jail.

"I think it's very difficult to explain how several of your employees are claiming that they were checking on somebody at 30-minute intervals when that individual was not in your facility," said Greg Lauer, a Fort Lauderdale attorney who represented Priester's family in a federal lawsuit over his care in jail.

Turning code violations into payoffs, the Opa-locka way
By Michael Sallah and Jay Weaver
Miami Herald staff writers

His life savings poured into his struggling business, Francisco Pujol stood in the bathroom at Opa-locka City Hall in February and turned to the lone man who could make his problems disappear.

With every cash payment to the city manager, Pujol was guaranteed he would get the occupational license that he needed to finally open.

Already, David Chiverton had dismissed dozens of code violations on the property where Pujol had set up his sprawling tire recycling center.

Now, for $2,500 — all in large bills — he would do it again.

More recent examples of journalism from around the state:

Via the Palm Beach Post: HEROIN: Killer of a generation
Former assistant state attorney, potential star is lost to epidemic
By Joe Capozzi - Palm Beach Post Staff Writer

Jessica Rose had the credentials of a rising courtroom star: a lawyer with the Palm Beach County State Attorney’s Office, an assistant public defender in Jacksonville, a private practice on Clematis Street.

A young attorney brimming with talent and promise, she also struggled with an addiction to drugs, a battle that shattered her career, scarred her family and ultimately took her life.

Via the Miami Herald:
After Florida inmate’s lethal gassing, claims of cover-up
By Julie K. Brown

Randall Jordan-Aparo died weeping and gasping for breath on the concrete floor of his prison isolation cell, naked except for his white boxer shorts.

Incensed that he had cursed at a nurse, guards at Franklin Correctional Institution in the Panhandle fired nine blasts of noxious gas into his 13-by-8 cell through a slot in the door and, ultimately, left him there, sobbing.

“I can’t breathe, I can’t take it no more, please help me,’’ he pleaded.

Five hours later, the 27-year-old was found lifeless, face-down on the bare slab. His mouth and nose were pressed to the bottom of the door, as if trying to gulp fresh air through the thin crack. His hair, legs, toes, torso and mouth were dusted with a faint orange residue, a byproduct of the gas.

A paperback Bible was under his shoulder.

Via the Tampa Bay Times:
WALMART - Thousands of police calls. You pay the bill.

Police come to shoo away panhandlers, referee parking disputes and check on foul-mouthed teenagers.

They are called to arrest the man who drinks a 98-cent iced tea without paying and capture the customer who joyrides on a motorized shopping cart.

The calls eat up hours of officers’ time. They all start at one place: Walmart.

Law enforcement logged nearly 16,800 calls in one year to Walmarts in Pinellas, Hillsborough, Pasco and Hernando counties, according to a Tampa Bay Times analysis. That’s two calls an hour, every hour, every day.

Local Walmarts, on average, generated four times as many calls as nearby Targets, the Times found. Many individual supercenters attracted more calls than the much larger WestShore Plaza mall.

When it comes to calling the cops, Walmart is such an outlier compared with its competitors that experts criticized the corporate giant for shifting too much of its security burden onto taxpayers. Several local law enforcement officers also emphasized that all the hours spent at Walmart cut into how often they can patrol other neighborhoods and prevent other crimes.

“They’re a huge problem in terms of the amount of time that’s spent there,” said Tampa police Officer James Smith, who specializes in retail crime. “We are, as a department, at the mercy of what they want to do.”

Saturday, December 03, 2016

Here's a video of Trump on his 'thank you' tour

Shaquille O'Neal is just one American who says we need to give Trump a chance.
"He won fair and square. We have to give him a chance,”said O'Neal.
But if you're one of those who also says we should give Trump a chance, here are a few facts. 

The day after the election he said, "Now it's time for Americans to bind the wounds of division."

He forgot to mention that it was he who caused the divisiveness in the first place.

But kicking off his "Thank You Tour" in Cincinnati the other day, this happened:
"He sneered at the opponents he had vanquished. He disparaged journalists and invited angry chants from the crowd, grinning broadly at calls of “lock her up” and “build the wall.” He ridiculed the government’s leaders as stupid and dishonest failures."
So much for "binding the wounds."

Thursday, December 01, 2016

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Looking for beauty in the world? Have you checked your back yard lately?

Some photographers travel all over the world in search of the perfect image.

But when retired Miami Herald photographer and Vero Beach resident Joe Rimkus Jr. wants to find the perfect shot, all he does is open his back door and step into what he calls his "water garden."

Joe says that some of the tiny frogs in the photos below are no bigger than a thumbnail. 

Follow Joe on Twitter to see more of his incredible work. @joejrpix

Click all images to enlarge.
All images Copyright © by Joe Rimkus Jr.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Here are some photos of Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine posing with things

Now that the election is over, Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine has lots more time on his hands now that he's not appearing on cable news channels telling everyone in America that #ImWithHer.

The mayor is back, hard at work at Job #1: making Miami Beach great again.

Today was a very busy day for Hizonner.

And Levine's personal photographer tagged along with the mayor, getting some great shots of the mayor doing stuff that mayors do.

Enjoy them, Miami Beach paid for this crap with your tax dollars.
Mayor Levine poses with his giant-sized, city-issued
Ribbon Cutting Scissors.
(Click all images to enlarge)

Mayor Levine stares blankly into space while standing next to
a large color photo of a Reuben sandwich.

Mayor Levine and a frozen turkey. Write your own punchline.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

This morning, Donald Trump sent out his most frightening tweet, ever

A tweet Donald Trump sent out this morning just may be his most frightening ever.

This from a guy who spent the past year and a half spewing hate speech at every campaign stop, and who used Twitter to insult everyone and everything. 

After Vice president-elect Pence attended the play "Hamilton" last night in New York, a cast member took the time to address him in very respectful terms.

And this was Trump's response on Twitter this morning:

 Here's what Trump calls "harassment":

Via the Washington Post: “You know, we have a guest in the audience this evening,” he said to audience laughter. “And Vice President-elect Pence, I see you walking out, but I hope you will hear us just a few more moments. There’s nothing to boo here, ladies and gentlemen. There’s nothing to boo here. We’re all here sharing a story of love. We have a message for you, sir. We hope that you will hear us out.”

As he pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket, Dixon encouraged people to record and share what he was about to say “because this message needs to be spread far and wide.”

“Vice President-elect Pence, we welcome you, and we truly thank you for joining us here at ‘Hamilton: An American Musical.’ We really do,” Dixon said to further applause. “We, sir, we are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights, sir. But we truly hope this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and work on behalf of all of us. All of us. Again, we truly thank you truly for seeing this show, this wonderful American story told by a diverse group of men and women of different colors, creeds and orientations.”

Yes, folks, America will swear in a new Commander in Chief this January who apparently has no understanding of the First Amendment.

At least until someone reminds him what it is.... via Look on the bright side, it only took Donald Trump 9 hours to understand the first amendment

Friday, November 18, 2016

Someone needs to take away David Sanguesa's computer

David Sanguesa

Unless you've been hiding under a rock for a few days, you've no doubt heard of David Sanguesa.

He's the man, who on Wednesday, "was captured on video angrily yelling Trump!' and 'I voted for Trump!' at a barista at a Coral Gables Starbucks when he felt he didn’t get his tall vanilla latte quickly enough because he is white. Then he demanded his money back, calling her trash' and 'garbage.'"

Sanguesa blamed his outburst on the fact that he hadn't taken his meds that day.

But it appears that there are many days when Sanguesa forgets to take his meds. 

A Miami Herald story posted yesterday says that ....
Over the years he’s sent several reporters at the Herald angry emails often directed at Obama, women and Cuban- Americans.

In one email sent this month, he said Obama has caused 95 million people to lose their jobs by “pushing a sick, left wing agenda of not working... living off the government... trying to get rid of Jesus Christ, abortion, homosexuality, lesbians, transgender... Hollywood trash... we are Miami destroyed... by people who hate the USA.”

Four days earlier he had sent an email about the coverage of the death of former Miami Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez in a boating accident. “I hate Cubans.... all pieces of s--- including Jose Fernandez.”

He ended the email: “Viva Fidel Castro!!”

This morning, one Herald reporter posted on Facebook an email he recently received from Sanguesa.
"f**k you N****r shit....I own a Company in Miami for 15 years....what do you do N****r???

write for the Cuban Newspaper....your a worthless piece of sh*t n****r that is poor and a dreamer....I am a graduate of Texas A&M with a Masters and run one of the biggest Architecture firms in Miami you fucking N****r piece of sh*t!!!!

I live in Coral Gables and you make nothing compared to me you piece of sh*t n****r.,

Go f**k yourself because I am richer than you and your a f**king Obama n****r lover like Leonard N****r Pitts. F*ck you and your party!!!!"

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Remember those Trump campaign events that resembled 1930s Nazi party rallies?

Guess what? He wants to bring them back.


Tucked in the middle of a story in today's New York Times on Donald Trump that talks about his fondness for waking up in his own bed at Trump Tower in New York, is this revelation: He apparently misses the "instant gratification and adulation" that he received on the campaign trail from his adoring followers.

Because what better way to recharge your batteries after a stressful week in Washington than holding a good old-fashioned Nazi party rally attended by thousands of fanatical party members?

His aides say he has also expressed interest in continuing to hold the large rallies that were a staple of his candidacy. He likes the instant gratification and adulation that the cheering crowds provide, and his aides are discussing how they might accommodate his demand.

Click all images to enlarge.

“I think Trump has discovered that these rallies are tremendous opportunities for him to get his message out,” said Christopher Ruddy, chief executive of Newsmax Media, a conservative website. “It’s actually sort of old-fashioned, that you want to actually meet people and press the flesh with him.”


Thursday, November 10, 2016

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

An 'incompetent monster'

Novedades de Quintana Roo, Cancún, Mexico.
"Hate and racism win"

I turned off the TV last night before 9 and got election updates on Twitter.

So I wake up this morning to find that a blissfully ignorant sexual predator - or  "incompetent monster" as someone has called him - will soon be in charge of our country.

And because I didn't watch any TV, I'm just now hearing for the first time that He Who Shall Not be Named said this: "Now it's time for America to bind the wounds of division — have to get together. To all Republicans and Democrats and independents across this nation, I say it is time for us to come together as one united people."

Wow. After a year and half of ripping at the fabric of our democracy you say that?

After a year and half of dividing the country with your vile hate speech, you suddenly want to "unite" us?

That's chutzpah.

Make no mistake...his candidacy was not about a successful businessman deciding that at age 70 it was time to give back to his country, or make it "great again."

This was about a racist sociopath who has spent his entire life exacting revenge from people he feels have disrespected him.

And when Barack Obama - the nation's first Black president - mocked and humiliated this hollow shell of a man at the 2011 White House Correspondents' Dinner, he decided to get his revenge. He decided to run for president.

And for a year and a half after he announced he was running, he did nothing but spew hatred, lies and ignorance.

He insulted his way through the Republican debates where he offered no ideas or solutions.

When asked by journalists what made him qualified to be president he said "I've built great companies," before changing the subject and pointing out that he "wrote" a best selling book or that he had a highly-rated TV show.

In January, this con man and sideshow freak will move into the White House - the same White House once occupied by Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK, and most recently Barack Obama.

Nothing good will come from this, Nothing. 

God help us all.

Tuesday, November 08, 2016

Here's a video of a baby iguana trying to outrun a bunch of sea snakes

Here's the video from the BBC's Planet Earth II series that's got the Internet talking.

It just may be the greatest chase scene ever filmed.


Monday, November 07, 2016

Sir David Attenborough spent three years filming 'Planet Earth II'

Planet Earth II involved 117 filming trips in 40 countries [over the course of three years], and the latest UHD and HDR formats were used in tandem with ultra-lightweight cameras and drones. All this kit enabled the crew to capture wildlife in a more crisp and immediate way than ever.

“Visually, where Planet Earth took an almost God-like perspective and said ‘Let’s look down on the Earth and see the scale of the planet’, what Planet Earth II is doing is saying ‘Let’s get ourselves into the lives of the animals, and see it from their perspective,’” producer Mike Gunton said.

“The visual signature of the series is that you feel like the camera is with the animals. It’s very fluid, very active. For example, you might see this wonderful lemur leaping through the forest. Normally when we’d film that, we’d be standing back observing it, but here the lemur almost jumps over your shoulder and as it’s jumping over your shoulder, you’re with it - the camera is running with it!” [via]

Sunday, November 06, 2016

President Obama just mocked Donald Trump for having his Twitter privileges revoked

Donald Trump's handlers and surrogates have spent the better part of a year and a half trying to convince Americans that Donald Trump is fit to be President.

But late this morning the New York Times posted a story that revealed his campaign team has revoked his Twitter privileges.
Several advisers warned him that he risked becoming like a wild animal chasing its prey so zealously that it raced over a cliff — a reminder that he could pursue his grievances and his eagerness to fling insults, but that the cost would be a plunge into an electoral abyss.

Taking away Twitter turned out to be an essential move by his press team, which deprived him of a previously unfiltered channel for his aggressions.

Well it didn't take long for the news to reach Barack Obama who was campaigning in Florida today....
"Apparently his campaign has taken away his Twitter."

"In the last two days, they had so little confidence in his self control, they said: 'We're just going to take away your Twitter.' Now, if somebody cant handle a Twitter account, they can't handle the nuclear code."

"If somebody starts tweeting at three in the morning because SNL made fun of you, then you can't handle the nuclear codes."

Wednesday, November 02, 2016

People are losing their minds over the green coffee cups at Starbucks which means Christmas is just around the corner

Via Adweek: "Heading into the holiday season, Starbucks wants Americans to feel united again after a brutal election season. But Americans clearly just aren't ready for that. They want to fight—over the color of a cup."



But a Facebook user has this to say about the controversy, "If your biggest complaint is the cup your fancy coffee is served in, I want your life."

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

'If you unite behind a man you don't believe in; it's a lie.'

Dear Republican voters....

For Republicans today, Trump is scarier than Goldwater. He is scarier because he resembles a double agent dreamed up by liberal screenwriters. He embodies almost every left-wing caricature of Republicans that Republicans despise.

He is a racist and a sexist — having refused to rent apartments to African-Americans, retweeted neo-Nazis, besmirched Muslims and Latinos and boastfully molested women. For years, Republicans have been frustrated by liberal sensitivity on race and gender. Comes now Trump, spewing bigotry.

He is also an unrepentant denier of reality. Do you remember that Al Franken wrote a jeremiad against conservatives called “Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them”? I imagine the book’s title offends you. Yet it now feels like a preview of a candidate who almost every day makes immediately disprovable claims.

Trump likewise plays into the liberal narrative that the radical right verges on being anti-American. He has suggested our democracy is illegitimate and advocated jail for his opponent.

Finally, Trump displays a proud meanspiritedness about others’ struggles — a meanspiritedness that Democrats have long tried to link to Republican economic policy. He mocks parents who have lost a child, people with disabilities and prisoners of war. He relishes firing people.

Trump is so distinct that he has made this election unavoidably about him. If you vote for him, you can’t pass it off as voting for Supreme Court nominees. You will be voting for Donald Trump. You will be embracing those parodies of conservatism. - David Leonhardt, New York Times, Oct. 25, 2016

1964 Democratic National Committee ad

Monday, October 24, 2016

This is Donald Trump's brain on drugs...

TRUMP IN A NUTSHELL: his 45-minute rally in Florida this afternoon in one priceless minute.
via @MattNegrin

....any questions?

Saturday, October 22, 2016

EXCLUSIVE first look at Donald Trump's 'concession speech'

Donald Trump made a lot of people more than a little nervous when, during Wednesday's third and final Presidential Debate, he refused to say if "he [would] accept the results of next month's election if he loses to Hillary Clinton."

Then, on Thursday in Ohio - in true Trump fashion - he backtracked, by saying “I will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election — if I win.”

But Miami Beach attorney David Wieder is pretty sure Trump never intended to win the election.

Turns out this whole presidential campaign thing was part of a sinister plot hatched by Trump to get Hillary elected.

And Wieder has proof. He's gotten his hands on an advance copy of Trump's "concession speech" which will be delivered by Trump himself, the evening after the election.

Wieder posted Trump's entire speech on Facebook today.

It was all a plot, America. He never intended to win.
It was "rigged" from the start.


November 9, 2016

Good evening.

First of all, I want to congratulate Hillary for winning the Presidency. But I won the election. I am a WINNER, not a loser and here is why: I want all those blockheads who supported me not to make any trouble or claim that the election was rigged. It was designed by me to elect Hillary. I mean, wake up people. Do you think that some of the things I have said were not provocative enough to turn people off, especially women, who are of a lower mentality than men? They just do not have the stamina to figure out what I was doing.

I want everyone to know that I am really a Democrat. I was never a Republican.

I am an eastern elitist, believe me. Do you think that I live in a gold plated Trump tower apartment and have a gold plated jet because I like people who live in Des Moines or St Louis? They are suckers. Losers. Out of touch with how to get ahead. Most of these yokels would vote for me if I shot Paul Ryan. I am a patriot, believe me. I even display big American flags in my buildings right next to the TRUMP flag. I want everyone to know that there will be a Hillary victory party in all the Trump buildings not in foreclosure tonight to celebrate what I and I alone have accomplished. No one could have pulled this off except me, believe me. I won the whole thing. What a winner I am. If I invited Vladimir Putin, he would come. He loves me, just like all my other followers. Vlad told me what a winner I am.

I entered this race and demolished the 16 pinhead candidates who had the nerve to run against me in the primaries. They tried to be politically correct in selling their agenda for the wealthy. The base saw through them and embraced me. All those things I said about low energy Jeb and Little Marco were true. LOSERS! and John Kasich? He is phonier than a three-dollar bill. And how about Chris Christie who will soon go to jail, standing behind me like my puppet? He looked like an overfed beagle. The rest of them were a bunch of religious nut cases who want to get inside women's vaginas, but not successfully as I have. Who cares about abortion? I am pro choice. Just like my hot daughter Ivanka, whom I never dated, believe me.

I ran to show how bankrupt the GOP is and, believe me, I know about bankruptcies. The country had to put up with George W Bush, who invited the Iranians to take over the Middle East. And Condoleezza Rice? The worst secretary of state, much worse than Hillary, who is now my friend. Well Condi might have gotten into Augusta National, but never Trump National, get it? Well maybe now that I have revealed my true feelings of liberalism. I live in New York City, come on. After all she did go to college. And I heard she's a pretty good golfer. I heard she plays a pretty mean piano...lots of rhythm.

And how about my running mate Mike Pence, who says he is a Christian before he is a Republican and an American? He needs to get a hot date. Spends too much time in church. And what about those spineless losers Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell twisting themselves into pretzels when I revealed all that stuff about my sexual exploits. Sure, I groped a few women, but what's the difference? Bill Clinton was a fat kid from Arkansas who became President so he could get p***y. That is the whole point of being President, isn't it? I gave a lot of money to Bill and when I release my tax returns tomorrow, it will show that. I could have built the wall with my own funds, but every one knows that is dumb. Better to do it with OPM.

So do not worry, Hillary, I am now on your side again. You are a real fighter. You do not give up and I respect that. But you are only President-elect, because I paved the way. I am the real winner.

I made myself into a Trojan (forgive the expression, I do not use Trojans) horse to show how stupid the American public is. None of them read the failing New York Times, the New Yorker or the Washington Post. They can hardly read at all. I know all this because I did well at Wharton where I learned to play everyone for a sucker. And tuition was not even that high then. It increased my attention span to a full 30 seconds. And believe me, I am not looking for a cabinet position although I would make a great Secretary of the Treasury negotiating 10c on the dollar for government bond obligations. And all those freeloading NATO partners. I never intended to make them pay up for defense. I get a lot of guests in my hotels from those countries.

So now it is time to pull together as Americans, respect the fact that I uncloaked the Republican fraud, and stand behind our new President. I am a patriot, believe me. Even though I will not be President, my face should be on the wall on the Rio Grande, just like Mt Rushmore. I want to talk to Hillary about that.

So my fellow Americans, God bless America. Let's get together behind Hillary, and come back to my casinos, my hotels and my golf courses. Business has fallen off a bit and I might have to declare another bankruptcy or even worse, lose my tax write offs.

We have only one President and she is all of our President., but I am responsible for her election. I won.

I was the one who rigged it all.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

The Saturday Night Massacre occurred 43 years ago today

Oct. 21, 1973.

Nixon Forces Firing of Cox; Richardson, Ruckelshaus Quit

President Abolishes Prosecutor's Office; FBI Seals Records

By Carroll Kilpatrick
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, October 21, 1973; Page A01

In the most traumatic government upheaval of the Watergate crisis, President Nixon yesterday discharged Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox and accepted the resignations of Attorney General Elliot L. Richardson and Deputy Attorney General William D. Ruckelshaus.

The President also abolished the office of the special prosecutor and turned over to the Justice Department the entire responsibility for further investigation and prosecution of suspects and defendants in Watergate and related cases.

Shortly after the White House announcement, FBI agents sealed off the offices of Richardson and Ruckelshaus in the Justice Department and at Cox's headquarters in an office building on K Street NW.

An FBI spokesman said the agents moved in "at the request of the White House."

Agents told staff members in Cox's office they would be allowed to take out only personal papers. A Justice Department official said the FBI agents and building guards at Richardson's and Ruckelshaus' offices were there "to be sure that nothing was taken out."

Richardson resigned when Mr. Nixon instructed him to fire Cox and Richardson refused. When the President then asked Ruckelshaus to dismiss Cox, he refused, White House spokesman Ronald L. Ziegler said, and he was fired. Ruckelshaus said he resigned.

Finally, the President turned to Solicitor General Robert H. Bork, who by law becomes acting Attorney General when the Attorney General and deputy attorney general are absent, and he carried out the President's order to fire Cox. The letter from the President to Bork also said Ruckelshaus resigned.

These dramatic developments were announced at the White House at 8:25 p.m. after Cox had refused to accept or comply with the terms of an agreement worked out by the President and the Senate Watergate committee under which summarized material from the White House Watergate tapes would be turned over to Cox and the Senate committee.

In announcing the plan Friday night, the President ordered Cox to make no further effort to obtain tapes or other presidential documents.

Cox responded that he could not comply with the President's instructions and elaborated on his refusal and vowed to pursue the tape recordings at a televised news conference yesterday.

Cartoons by Don Wright.
Miami News, Oct. 23, 1973.
(Click all images to enlarge.)

Miami News, Oct. 24, 1973.

Miami News, Oct. 29, 1973.


On Nov. 17, 1973, less than a month after firing Cox, Nixon made his famous "I am not a crook" remark in Orlando: "[I]n all of my years of public life I have never obstructed justice [...] People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook."

Nixon Tells Editors, 'I'm Not a Crook'

By Carroll Kilpatrick
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, November 18, 1973; Page A01

Orlando, Fla, Nov. 17 -- Declaring that "I am not a crook," President Nixon vigorously defended his record in the Watergate case tonight and said he had never profited from his public service.

"I have earned every cent. And in all of my years of public life I have never obstructed justice," Mr. Nixon said.

"People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got."

In an hour-long televised question-and-answer session with 400 Associated Press managing editors, Mr. Nixon was tense and sometimes misspoke. But he maintained his innocence in the Watergate case and promised to supply more details on his personal finances and more evidence from tapes and presidential documents.

Miami News, Nov 20, 1973.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Today, Barack Obama needed just 36 words to make the argument why Donald Trump has no business running for president


"You start whining before the game's even over, if whenever things are going badly for you and you lose, you start blaming somebody else, then you don't have what it takes to be in this job." — Barack Obama


Happy birthday, Chuck Berry!

Chuck Berry is 90 years old today.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Who is J.P. Guillot and why is he trolling the Miami Herald's Facebook page?

Miami Police Lt. Jean Paul Guillot with
Chief Roldolfo Llanes.
(Click here to enlarge.)


Jean Paul (J.P.) Guillot is a lieutenant with the Miami Police Department. A quick internet search reveals he was suspended in 2013 for 160 hours and then fired in 2014. (Based on the Internal Affairs investigation, Sergeant Guillot was Terminated for violation of Section 943.13(4), F.S., Violation of Moral Character Standards defined in Rule 11B-2700011, F.A.C. on 03/19/2014.) However, through arbitration, Guillot was able to win his job back and was somehow promoted to lieutenant in January of this year.

So what's Lt. Guillot been up to lately? We're not sure what his job is at MPD, but apparently he spends much of his time - occasionally into the early morning hours - trolling the Miami Herald's Facebook page and leaving comments on any posting having to do with the Republican party's racist and bigoted presidential nominee, Donald Trump. (Memo to Miami Police Internal Affairs: If you guys aren't too busy, perhaps you can find out if Guillot is trolling the Herald while on duty.)

Here's a sampling of Guillot's comments in which he appears to have problems with the Herald's "amateur journalism."

(Click this and all images to enlarge.)

In the above thread, Guillot engages a commenter named Junior
Diaz who asks Guillot if he's supporting a man
"who admitted to sexual assault?"
Guillot's response: "[I] never heard Trump say that."

Memo to Lt. J.P. Guilllot: Actually, if you spent more time doing research and less time trolling, you'd learn that Trump, in fact, did admit to sexually assaulting women, which if I'm not mistaken is an arrestable offense. You tell're the cop.
[Via the New York Times] In the three-minute recording, which was obtained by The Washington Post, Mr. Trump recounts to the television personality Billy Bush of “Access Hollywood” how he once pursued a married woman and “moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there,” expressing regret that they did not have sex. But he brags of a special status with women: Because he was “a star,” he says, he could “grab them by the pu**y” whenever he wanted.

“You can do anything,” Mr. Trump says.

He also said he was compulsively drawn to kissing beautiful women “like a magnet” — “I don’t even wait” — and talked about plotting to seduce the married woman by taking her furniture shopping. Mr. Trump, who was 59 at the time he made the remarks, went on to disparage the woman, whom he did not name, saying, “I did try and f**k her. She was married,” and saying, “She’s now got the big phony tits and everything.”