Thursday, March 31, 2016

Here are some Facebook photos of Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine and Local 10 anchor Constance Jones....

One of them pretends to be in charge of a city, while the other pretends to be a journalist. 

Click all images to enlarge.

Feeling like a model in a #PanteneCommercial 💇
Thank you @foxxc2 from Salon 184 for the highlights! 💛
#mystylistisbetterthanyours Follow my hair transformation on Snapchat👻
ConstanceTV A video posted by Constance Jones (@craftyconstance)
on Mar 10, 2016 at 1:50pm PST

Do I ever read a newspaper? Of course not. Why?
Because I'm too busy posing for selfies.

Mayor Levine took a half selfie on his recent trip to Cuba.

Here's an Official City of Miami Beach photo of Mayor Levine bonding
with some of Miami's invisible Cubans.

Here's Constance looking fabulous while reading some words about
something horrible that happened in Belgium.

Don't judge me, OK?

That time Mayor Levine tried pull a fast one on Michael Putney.

Why should I waste time reading a newspaper when
I could be taking more selfies?

If she gets elected, I'm outta this dump. And then Ocean
Drive will be Mike Grieco's problem.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Mac Klein, Owner of Mac's Club Deuce, Dies at 101 Years Old

Via Miami New Times:
Mac Klein, owner of the beloved South Beach dive bar Mac's Club Deuce, died today at 101 years old.

A bartender named Kenny confirmed the news today. "He died this morning," Kenny said. Asked how he died, the response was, "He was 100 years old." Kenny confirmed the bar would be open normal hours.

Mac's Club Deuce: Life Tips from Mac Klein

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Garry Shandling's first appearance on the Tonight Show - March 18, 1981

Legendary photographer Walt Michot leaves Miami Herald today after 43 years in photojournalism

Video by Walt Michot


Walt Michot sometime in the 1980s.
Click all images to enlarge.

Today is Miami Herald photographer Walt Michot's last day at the paper.

His wife Emily - also a Herald photographer - posted the following on Facebook this morning:
After 43 years in the newspaper photography business, beginning in 1973 at the Hollywood Sun Tattler, then on to the Fort Lauderdale News and Sun Sentinel before joining his true home at the Miami Herald in 1983, Walter Michot, is signing off today, retiring from his dream job. Or, as he would say each day, over the old two-way radios in the Herald company cars of years past: 10-7. (Out of service.)

Bystander at a shooting in Overtown last February.
Photograph by Walt Michot / Miami Herald

Reached at the Herald, Walt's boss, photo editor Roman Lyskowski told me that Michot was one of the paper's most reliable photographers. "He was the calm in the eye of the storm. He'll be missed." 

Walt told me today that he's got plenty to keep him busy. Walt and Emily have two teen-age sons and he says he'll now have more time for his hobby, horticulture.

Facebook killer Derek Medina is fingerprinted in a Miami courtroom
on Nov. 25, 2015 after being found guilty of murdering his wife.
Photograph by Walt Michot / Miami Herald

See more of Walt's work at Google Images by clicking here.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine, South Florida's #1 attention whore, is in Cuba ....

....and he desperately wants you to believe that he hung out with Barack Obama.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Cuba's Street Racing Scene

"I'd rather buy a carburetor than food for the house."


'Havana Motor Club' Looks at the Glory and Ingenuity Behind Cuba's Underground Drag Racing Scene

Havana Motor Club - Official Trailer from Bent Jorgen Perlmutt on Vimeo.

The Miami Herald's Monique Madan has written what just may be the worst story in the paper's history

When Monique Madan isn't taking idiotic selfies, she's writing
idiotic stories for the Miami Herald.

The Miami Herald sent Monique Madan to Little Havana today to cover a demonstration by some Cuban exiles who are terribly upset that President Barack Obama is visiting Cuba.

Mdadan began her story with this bilge: "Gloria Argudin stood before hundreds of protesters in Little Havana. Her eyes welled with tears, her fists tightened with anger."
"Today is a sad day for me," the 78-year-old said. "I never thought that I would see a president of the United States of America landing Air Force One in a communist Cuba. I grew up learning first hand what it was like to flee communism and oppression."

Click text block images to enlarge.

And then amazingly, Madan manages to get Florida's Lt Governor Carlos López-Cantera, to give her the exact quote that Gloria Argudin gave her.

What's even more amazing is López-Cantera's assertion that he "grew up learning first hand what it was like to flee communism and oppression," even though he was born in Spain in 1973. But Madan just lets that slide.

But if Madan's story isn't enough to set your gag reflex into overdrive, check out this tweet she sent out:

Click image to enlarge.

We don't know much more about Fuentes other than his age. Madan never bothered to ask him what year he arrived in Miami or how much government assistance was provided to him through the generosity of U.S. taxpayers to help him get on his feet when he arrived in the United States.

Mercifully, Madan's story is little more than 500 words....ending like it began....with more bilge: "We want the Cuban people overflow the streets today!" one woman yelled. The crowd supported her stance by screaming "Cuba Libre."


Additional reading | Sun-Sentinel, Jan. 8, 2015: Plundering America: The Cuban Criminal Pipeline

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Donald Trump reveals the name of his foreign policy advisor: Donald Trump

Yesterday, Donald Trump once again proved that he's a never-ending all-you-can-eat buffet of stupidity.

Back on March 7, the hosts of Morning Joe tried to get him to talk about foreign policy.  He blew them off.

Asked again yesterday, he came up with this answer:

"I'm speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things. I know what I'm doing, and I listen to a lot of people, I talk to a lot of people, and at the appropriate time I'll tell you who the people are. But my primary consultant is myself and I have, you know, a good instinct for this stuff." -Donald Trump on Morning Joe, March 16, 2016

That's right...the man actually said he has a "very good brain"and that his "primary consultant" is himself.


UPDATE: In today's New York Times, columnist David Brooks writes: "Donald Trump is epically unprepared to be president. He has no realistic policies, no advisers, no capacity to learn. His vast narcissism makes him a closed fortress. He doesn’t know what he doesn’t know and he’s uninterested in finding out. He insults the office Abraham Lincoln once occupied by running for it with less preparation than most of us would undertake to buy a sofa."

Trump's answer on who he consults on foreign relations was just as nonsensical as the one he gave last year when he was asked who he goes to for military advice.
CHUCK TODD to Donald Trump, in an interview taped in Des Moines yesterday for “Meet the Press”: “Who do you talk to for military advice right now?”

TRUMP: “Well, I watch the shows. I mean, I really see a lot of great-- you know, when you watch your show and all of the other shows and you have the generals and ... you have certain people that you like ... ”
And then there was the time when Trump talked about his strategy for dealing with Somali pirates....

Sure, you're laughing. But this is a guy who went to the best schools and who knows the "best words." Okay?

Is it any wonder that conservative Republicans are trying to come up with a plan to keep this moron from becoming the party's nominee?

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Robbers threaten to shoot 9-month-old infant during grocery store hold up in Miami...but where's the outrage?

This piece of garbage threatened to shoot
a 9-month-old baby
during a grocery store
hold-up in Miami.

Six year old King Carter was shot and killed last month outside his home on NW 12th Avenue and 103rd Lane.

The very next day a community activist organized a march that drew hundreds of participants. At about the same time a memorial filled with flowers, notes, teddy bears and candles began to take form.

But King was gone forever, and a thousand teddy bears and candles weren't going to bring him back.

A few days after King's death, police arrested two teens and charged them with second degree murder.
A virtual argument on social media escalated into a hail of very real bullets that cost 6-year-old King Carter his life, police said on Wednesday.

Two teens, one wearing a GPS ankle monitor, were seeking vengeance over a beef on Facebook when they opened fire outside a Northwest Miami-Dade apartment complex Saturday on a man police would identify only as “Ju Ju.”

Ju Ju returned fire. The shooters survived. The crossfire killed King, a Van E. Blanton Elementary School first-grader on his way to buy some candy.
Police say members of the community provided tips that led to the arrests.

Now cops need the community's help again.

Yesterday, two thugs walked into a small store on NW 43rd Street and 2nd Avenue. This is what happened next according to a Miami Police Department press release:
On March 15, 2016 at approximately12:56 P.M., two Black male suspects entered the Christiana Grocery store, located at 4322 Northwest 2nd Avenue, pretending to shop. Both suspects were waiting at the register to pay for a bag of chips. As the clerk, (victim #1) was about to ring up the transaction, suspect #1 pointed a black small frame firearm at her and her infant son, (victim #2). The suspect then demanded that the clerk place her son (victim #2) in the chair next to her. The suspect then pointed the firearm at the infant (victim #2), and yelled to the clerk, “Give me everything you got or I’ll shoot him!”

You read that correctly...a robber threatened to shoot a 9 month-old baby over some money.

But for some reason no one in the community is calling for a march this time. Apparently someone has to get killed before anyone exhibits any kind of outrage.

Below are videos taken from surveillance cameras inside the store. 

Police want to hear from anyone who can supply them with the identity of these two animals. Call Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers at 305-471-TIPS.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Snake man Bill Haast on the The Mike Douglas Show - October 19, 1965

Here's a rare video of legendary Miami Serpentarium owner Bill Haast handling a very large king cobra on the Mike Douglas Show in October 1964

(WARNING: Not for the faint of heart!)

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Sure you're angry....

...but is that any reason to vote for a schmuck like Trump?

andrew klavan, i'm angry

Shootings and rowdy behavior mar Spring Break on Ocean Drive....but elected officials are mum

Illustration by Cindy
(Click here to enlarge)

“This place [Ocean Drive] has turned into a very challenging area that requires a tremendous amount of our police resources to enforce and create safety. We’ve had this conversation many, many times. It’s turning into a Bourbon Street. It’s turning into a terrible place that’s become a blight, a cancer that spreads to our entire city.” — Mayor Philip Levine, Miami Herald, April 15, 2015

"Miami Beach is a safe and great place. Welcome and have a great time here. We ask that all our visitors have a great time and be responsible. Enjoy our beaches, our scenic views and our world-class nightlife. We ask that you please respect the scene." — Miami Beach Police Chief Dan Oates, March 12, 2016

Miami Beach police investigating 2 shootings, 1 killed. At least 7 arrested after parties on beach — Local, March 13, 2016

Two shootings on Miami Beach last night, with one dead.

I wonder what our elected officials have to say? Let's find out.


Commissioner Michael Grieco's last Facebook post was yesterday when he was picking up beach litter ... so no statement yet.

Ditto for Commissioner Ricky Arriola, who was posting comments like this on Facebook yesterday when everything was "cool" and "tame" ...

Well, surely Miami Beach's hands-on millionaire populist Mayor Philip Levine has something to say.

After all, he's the one who last year said that a 2 a.m. ban on outdoor alcohol sales on Ocean Drive would help eliminate crime.

Let's check in with him .....

Click to enlarge.

Okay, so he was busy with Hillary.

But maybe he had something to say on FOX News this morning about maintaining the peace, order and safety for all Miami Beach residents.

Oh, well, wrong again. The Mayor, it appears, is more concerned with appearing on FOX News every five minutes to talk about Hillary.

Oh, wait....Mayor Levine has just released this statement. Let's go to him, now....

Friday, March 11, 2016

Miami Herald once again offering buyouts

One Herald Plaza (circa 2003)

UPDATED at 4:30 p.m. with this comment from a Herald insider: "Here's the rub: Most, if not all, of the older staffers who could take a buyout already have. Those who remain need to keep the job, even though they can see the writing on the wall, for as long as they can - in most cases for the health insurance or for family reasons or because they engaged in poor financial management throughout their careers. So, this time, it's inevitable that mid-career or younger staffers are going to get hit with involuntary layoffs."


Posted on Facebook yesterday by a Miami Herald staffer....
"Voluntary buyouts with usual separation package offered newsroom-wide (instead of targeting a particular department or class of employee). If they don't get enough -- and they haven't said how may they want. -- layoffs will follow."
A little bit later, that same staffer posted this:
"The optimistic point of view would be that there are enough people who've been saying to themselves 'If only I could get a buyout, I'd get out of here and write my novel/start a business/become a pastry chef/go fishing.'"

But unbelievable as it sounds, the Miami Herald still needs to cut costs. Unsure how how they'll do this since they're running on fumes, now.

Put another way: who's left?

Meanwhile, in other news, the Herald's parent company McClatchy, "in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission on Tuesday...said it will ask shareholders to approve a reverse stock split that would boost the company's share price."
"Last month McClatchy (NYSE: MNI) said the New York Stock Exchange had issued its second warning in a year that the company's share price was too low to remain on the exchange. The company has until August to fix the problem."

But despite the fact that earlier in the day, she'd threatened dozens of hard-working journalists with the loss of their jobs, Herald executive editor Mindy Marques Gonzalez wasn't going to let that prevent her from having some fun at last night's debate. Because who doesn't like posing for a stupid selfie or two?

But when all is said and done, the woman who's at least partly responsible for the Herald's decline these past few years, still gets to keep her job.

And the rest of you poor schmucks, well them's the breaks!

But things are bound to get better....don't worry....

Thursday, March 10, 2016

ICYMI: Gov. Rick Scott was thrown off Morning Joe yesterday for being a 'sniveling' weasel

Via Tim Elfrink of Miami New Times:

One of Florida Gov. Rick Scott's most persistent tics is to yell, "Jobs!" over and over whenever he's pressed for an answer to a tough question. This is the same guy, after all, who once pleaded the Fifth more than 70 times in a deposition. He's an Olympic-level non-answerer, and most interviewers are too flustered to call him out on it.

Not so on Morning Joe today. Hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski spent three minutes harassing Scott for a simple answer to this question: Does he agree with his buddy Donald Trump that Muslims "hate" America?

By Scott's fifth mumbled response about jobs, they simply cut his microphone and embarrassingly killed the interview.

“That was weak sniveling political wavering,” Brzezinski later told Scarborough before joking about Scott refusing to back anyone in the Florida primary. “I doubt his endorsement would have any impact anyway. Sorry.”

An "an Olympic-level non-answerer," Tim?

Aren't you being a little harsh? Oh, wait.....

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

And the Random Pixels award for the most asinine statement of the week ....

Juan Perez, Director, Miami-Dade Police Department.
Photo by Doug Hanks / Miami Herald.

....goes to the Miami-Dade Police Department's new Director Juan Perez.

Via the Miami Herald:
Miami-Dade commissioners easily approved one of the largest body-camera purchases in the country on Tuesday, authorizing up to 1,500 video devices for the county police force.

In a 12-0 vote, commissioners gave the green light to spending $1 million a year on the wearable cameras and the costly storage that comes with them. County policy will require officers to film most encounters with the public.
By the end of September, about 1,200 cameras should be in use, said department director Juan Perez. He described the cameras as a countermeasure to civilian cellphone footage, which he suggested can given an incomplete look at high-profile police incidents.

“It will tell a better story for us,” Perez said of the footage, most of which would be considered public records under Florida’s Sunshine laws. “That way, we won’t be focused just on the five seconds someone films of an incident. We’ll have the entire incident.”

But a little further down in the Herald article, Director Perez drops this bombshell:
Perez opted not to require body cameras for the county’s SWAT team, the unit known for military-style raids. Perez said there were concerns about requiring footage of SWAT in action that would then be available for public viewing.

“We don’t like to record our tactics,” he said in an interview. “If we record our tactics, we get into a situation where we’re exposing our guys.”

Hey, Director Perez. GMAFB!!

You don't like to record your tactics? Are you serious?

The existence of police SWAT units are one of the reasons why body cams are so necessary.


UPDATE: A Google search reveals that police departments across the country are issuing body cams to their SWAT teams, including LAPD and Daytona Beach PD, to name just two.


If you disagree, Director Perez, then you haven't been paying attention.

NEWSFLASH: It's 2016 and anyone with a TV set can watch police reality shows with hours and hours of footage of SWAT raids on demand.

We already know what your tactics are:

1) Your "guys" show up at a house. 
2) (Sometimes the wrong house.)
2) Break down the door and ...
3) Terrorize everyone inside. 

Sometimes you find a bad guy or two, but many times you don't.

And have you forgotten this, Director Perez?
No charges for Miami-Dade officers in bloody sting that killed four suspects, including informant
Prosecutors criticized a Miami-Dade police squad in the 2011 Redland sting that left four dead — but they said there was not enough evidence to support charges.

Miami New Times: Miami Dade Police Lured Robbers to the Redland, Then Shot Them

Here's a suggestion: Get on board with this. If you don't, your tenure as MDPD's director will be a short one.Very short.

Aug. 8, 2014: Juan Perez, deputy director of the Miami-Dade
police department, urges the audience to "fight" for a new class
of cadets already facing lay-offs thanks to planned budget cuts.

How to make friends with a lizard....

Step #1: Get an apple....

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

VIDEO: President Obama losing his chill around kids

Obama and Kids
President Barack Obama loses his chill every time he sees kids, and it's the cutest thing ever.
Posted by HuffPost Entertainment on Wednesday, February 24, 2016


PHOTOS: All The Times President Obama Lost His Chill Around Kids

Monday, March 07, 2016

'A beautiful place in a garden...'

Machela Oksenhenbler rolled up her sleeve Tuesday and showed the Miami Beach Planning Board the number tattooed on her forearm: 54092. It was all she had to say.

Three hours later, with the 80-year-old Oksenhenbler and dozens of Nazi death camp survivors looking on, the Planning Board unanimously recommended that a proposed memorial to the Holocaust be built in the city's Garden Center.he vote was the last act in a meeting that drew 500 people, packed into a City Hall chamber designed for 300. Though it must still be approved by the City Commission, the vote quashed objections from women of the Garden Center, who wanted a fish pond on the site instead.

"I was so happy when I heard they would build a memorial, and then I heard about the pond," said Oksenhenbler. With her fingers, she ticked off the deaths of all her family members in the Polish concentration camps of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich.

Then she again showed her tattoo, crude and inky numbers that are a legacy of her time in Auschwitz. "I don't know why I survived," she said. "I would like some place, a beautiful place in a garden, where I could sit and remember." - Miami Herald, Nov. 28, 1984


As I listen to all the noise accompanying the debate over whether or not to build a convention center hotel on Miami Beach, I wonder how Mayor Philip Levine would justify the project to Holocaust survivor Machela Oksenhenbler if it were possible to travel back in time to 1984?

Would he avoid talking to her altogether, in much the same way that some of the hotel's staunchest defenders did this weekend when they refused to appear on Michael Putney's show?

Or would he patronize her - his trademark oleaginous smile firmly in place - and stare at her with his beady eyes and pretend to listen to her story of horror in the camps....and then pat her on the back and say something like this? "I just want to do what's best for Miami Beach, Mrs. Oksenhenbler."

I think I know the answer.

Levine is a man who has proven time and time again that he cares nothing about people unless they can help him line his pockets.

From the Miami Herald:
Miami Beach Mayor Philip Levine on Friday officially — and very publicly — declared his support for a March 15th referendum to move ahead with building a privately funded convention center hotel in the heart of South Beach.

“On March 15th, let’s continue moving our city in the right direction by voting “Yes” (#60) for a privately funded Convention District Hotel, vital neighborhood improvements for Miami Beach, and more than 1,400 new jobs for area residents,” Levine wrote in an open letter to constituents. “I’ll be voting “Yes” and I humbly ask you to join me, along with many leaders in our City, in doing so as well.”

Is this the view Machela Oksenhenbler would see from the Holocaust
Memorial if she were alive today?
Photoshop rendering by David Cypkin.

Donald Trump's compelling argument on why he has no business running for President

"When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I'm basically the same. The temperament is not that different." — Donald Trump


"But now finally — at long last — major Republicans are raising their heads and highlighting Trump’s actual vulnerability: his inability to think for an extended time about anybody but himself. David Brooks, New York Times, March 4, 2016


And about Trump's "inability to think for an extended time about anybody but himself...."

Asked to name a book that influenced him, [Trump] replies: “I would love to read. I’ve had many best sellers, as you know, and ‘The Art of the Deal’ was one of the ­biggest-selling books of all time — that’s really what started this whole thing.” Soon he’s on to “The Apprentice” — “the No. 1 show on television” — but not a book at all.  New York Times, Sept. 10, 2015


Friday, March 04, 2016

If you missed last night's Republican Presidential debate... missed this....

Donald Trump bragged about the size of his manhood...

TRUMP: Well, I also happened to call [Rubio] a lightweight, OK? And I have said that. So I would like to take that back. He is really not that much of a lightweight. And as far as — and I have to say this, I have to say this. He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I have never heard of this. Look at those hands. Are they small hands?


TRUMP: And he referred to my hands, if they are small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there is no problem. I guarantee. [via]

And this happened...

Then Ted Cruz ate a booger...

....and Donald Trump had the last word....

TRUMP: Thank you. I am going to bring jobs back to the United States like nobody else can. We’re going to fix our very depleted military. We’re going to take care of our vets. We’re going to strengthen our borders. And you’re going to be very, very proud of this country in just a few years if I’m elected president. Thank you.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

'Palm Beach Fire Rescue, do you have an emergency?'
'Yes, have someone bring the Jaws of Life to Mar-a-Lago...hurry, please!'

Chris Christie’s wordless screaming

By Alexandra Petri

I believe that Donald Trump was talking, tonight, and that he, in fact, held an entire press conference. But it was impossible to hear him over Chris Christie’s eyes.

Chris Christie spent the entire speech screaming wordlessly. I have never seen someone scream so loudly without using his mouth before. It would have been remarkable if it had not been so terrifying.

Sometimes, at night, do you still hear them, Clarice? The screaming of the Christies?

His were the eyes of a man who has gazed into the abyss, and the abyss gazed back, and then he endorsed the abyss.

It was not a thousand-yard stare. That would understate the vast and impenetrable distance it encompassed.

He looked as if he had seen a ghost and the ghost had made him watch Mufasa die again.