Miami Herald prints pornography on Page 1!

If you get the Miami Herald delivered at home and you have young children, you may want to keep them from looking at the front page of Saturday's Herald.

The Herald printed pornography on page one today.

No, not the wet, gooey, sloppy, in your face money shot kind of porn!

This is a more subtle form of pornography. In this case it's all about prostitution.

Look, right there on the front page image, the red box in the lower right hand corner.The Herald has shamelessly "whored" out page one, printing an ad that masquerades as a story, for the "Foundering Money Pit on Watson Island" AKA Parrot Jungle Island or Jungle Island. The only thing missing is a picture of a spread-eagled Biscayne Blvd. hooker.

I use the term "money pit" because the City of Miami and Miami-Dade County have propped this loser up with "loans" that Jungle Island has had trouble making payments on.

But you'll find no mention of that unpleasantness in this morning's breezy 350 word puff piece on Jungle Island's newest residents; 9 cute and rambunctious endangered lemurs from Madagascar.

The story goes on to tell us that for a mere $45 visitors can reserve a 45 minute "human play date" that will let them frolic with these hyperactive creatures that make "squeaking, clucking, growling, chattering and barking sounds." Who could resist cavorting with animals with names like Teddy Bear, Honey Bear, Smokey, Cujo, Amber, Goldie, Sophie, Jacket or Moley?

So, Who Wants to Date a Lemur?

The question I have for the editors at the Herald is simple: Why are you publishing what essentially is a press release for a tourist attraction on page one? Have you completely lost your minds?

Perhaps this is a new service the Herald is offering failing South Florida businesses.

If you have a business that's in trouble, for a small fee they'll send a reporter and photographer to your location and do a story that will run on the front page of the Herald.

Warning! It's gonna cost you!

But just think of all the potential customers you'll reach by having a story about your business featured on the front page of South Florida's most prestigious information source!

If this sounds good to you, just e-mail Herald editor Anders Gyllenhaal and tell him you want the same deal Jungle Island got. In no time you'll be on page one!

Tell him I sent you!