Saturday, April 02, 2011

The Chuck Strouse / Lee Klein tapes

Maybe you heard about the mini-scandal this week over at Miami New Times.

In a nutshell: a restaurant owner called New Times editor Chuck Strouse to complain about an error-riddled review of his place by critic Lee Klein.

New Times editor Chuck Strouse called Klein and tore him new one. Newsroom sources tell me that Strouse - normally a shy and retiring bookish type - was screaming into the phone.

We've obtained a transcript of the call between Strouse and Klein and present it here for your enjoyment.

*ring ring*

Lee Klein: Hello?

Chuck Strouse: What the fuck, Lee?

LK: Daddy, I can explain.

CS: Start.

LK: Look, I f*ucked up. There's no other way to explain it. I was tired that night and looking at a deadline and the last thing I wanted to do is get in the car to go get something to eat. So I mailed it in.

CS: You dumbsh*t. Now all the foodies in town are tweeting about it. That pinhead Food for Thought is calling me and cross-examining me. Ever hear of Random Trixels?

LK: No, I-

CS: Yeah, him, too. They're like flies on sh*t, Lee.

LK: I'm sorry, Daddy.

CS: Too late for sorry.

LK: You know if I go down, you go down. Corporate is never gonna stand for this crap.

CS: I know, man, and I ain't ready to be a blogger just yet.

LK: So whatta we do?

CS: We save our asses, that's what we do. I'm going to post some lame excuse tomorrow saying that errors were made-

LK: Wait, wait. How about "factual errors," you know because when we use the word "fact" it sounds kinda okay.

CS: Okay,"factual errors"...and then I'll throw in something about receipts...

LK: Yeah, like who ever doubts receipts.

CS: Right. And I'll apologize to those SOB's at Route 9.

LK: Gotta do that, Daddy, gotta do that.

CS: Now here's your part. You lay low and stay away from that f*ckin' Twitter until I'm done with my apology and then-

LK: Yes! Yes!

CS: -come back on and pretend it's a big joke.

LK: Brilliant!

CS: Thanks. Act real stupid about it and make it seem like makin' sh*t up is just part of the job.

LK: *giggle*

CS: Christomighty, Lee.

LK: You know it's true.

CS: Yeah, well, just this one time play dumb about it. Listen, I gotta go get something to eat. It's been a long night.

LK: Where ya goin'?

CS: Crap, I don't know...maybe Red Light.

LK: Never been. Hey, be a guy and send me a review when you get back, I-

CS: Motherf-

*dial tone*
-via SFDB comments section

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