Loser gets slapped by drunk lady, so he quits his job and hires a lawyer

Sorel Rockefeller has been keeping a secret for much of his adult life.

Now, the secret is out. Everyone in the country knows of the shame he's been living with for all these years.

He's a loser.

Yesterday, after he received a vicious beating got slapped by the mother of basketball multi-millionaire LeBron James, he abruptly quit his job and hired a lawyer. But first, he went to a doctor to have his "injuries" checked!

Kyle Munzenrieder, of Miami New Times, adds a little more perspective:

When Fontainebleau valet Sorel Rockefeller got slapped by Gloria James, the mother of LeBron James, instead of seeing stars he must have been seeing dollar signs. He's quit his job and is now considering a lawsuit against James. He's also been to a doctor and plans to visit a chiropractor.

Oh, come on dude, you get slapped by a drunk woman in her 40s who couldn't even stand up straight. The only thing you deserve is an apology.

"Yes it did," Rockefeller, a Haitian immigrant, told CBS4 after he was asked if it hurt when James slapped him. "This was very bad. You should not slap people in this country. I have been a valet for three years and have been at the Fontainebleau since September. This is the worst thing that's happened to me."

Really, the worst thing that's happened to you?

Well, put Kyle!

By the way, Sorel...know what else we don't like in this country? Crybabies.