"Donald Trump often appears on FOX which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head." -Seth Meyers, of Saturday Night Live speaking at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner
"Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican - which is surprising because I just assumed he was running as a joke." -Seth Meyers
"Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president.” -Seth Meyers
More Seth Meters lines here.
And here's the video of Seth Meyers' brilliant performance.
And here are some special zingers President Obama aimed at Donald Trump.
“Donald Trump is here tonight,” the comedian in chief said, grinning. “Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate to rest than The Donald. Now he can get to focusing on the issues that matter. Like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened at Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”
“All kidding aside," Obama told Trump, "We all know about your credentials and experience. In “Celebrity Apprentice," the men’s cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha steaks, but you recognized that this was a lack of leadership, so you fired Gary Busey.”
“These,” Mr. Obama said, “are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well-handled, sir. Well-handled.”