Wednesday, February 04, 2009

No parking? No problem!

So there you are stuck in an office downtown or on Brickell Avenue contemplating your drab and tedious existence.

You're bemoaning the fact that there's almost no excitement in your daily routine and your life has become mind-numbingly dull.

Last week you watched "Bonnie and Clyde" on TV and now you're thinking "wouldn't it be great to just chuck it all and take the wife and go on a cross-country crime spree?"

But then there's the prospect of getting caught and spending all your money on lawyers and the next 30 years in jail. If the idea of breaking the law appeals to you but the idea of getting caught doesn't, there is another option.

Just jump in your "Beamer" or "Benz" and drive on over to the Starbucks on West Ave. and 10th Street on Miami Beach.

Directly in front of the coffee shop you'll see three restricted parking spots. One is a handicapped spot. Another is marked "NO PARKING - COMMERCIAL LOADING ZONE." And the third is marked "NO PARKING ANYTIME - TOW AWAY ZONE."

Just pull into any of the three spots and waltz into the Starbucks and grab your favorite hot brew.

The beauty of this is that you'll be breaking the law but you'll never get caught.

All day long the "I'm more important than you" crowd shuttles in and out of these three spaces; knowing that they'll never get ticketed.

Sure they're lawbreakers. But instead of carrying guns and wearing ski masks, they wear Manolo Blahniks and carry Chloe handbags and Blackberries and drive very expensive automobiles. And they're way too important to pay attention to "No Parking" signs. Besides they're only going to be there a minute.

(By the way, the blue BMW in these pictures was there at least 20 minutes.)

In all the years I've been going to this Starbucks I've never seen a Miami Beach police officer or parking enforcement officer issue a citation to illegally parked cars at this location. Ever!

So if it's excitement you're looking for and if you want to flout the law and get away with it, Tenth and West is the place to be! Just be prepared to circle the block, after all these "spots" are always full!

And if by chance a cop does write you a ticket, just run outside and tell him "Hey, I was only going to be a minute!"

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